I know that abortion is an issue that will never be resolved, and I know that most people have strong feelings in one direction or the other, but I don't know anyone that is actually pro abortion, outside clinics, cheering people on, high-fiving, etc. I would say, from personal experience,
that it is the last resort for most, not something done happily on your lunchbreak or done without a second thought.
The handful of times I volunteered in front of a local clinic I never got the feeling from anyone that the situation was anything other than sad and, unfortunately, necessary. The anger and venom directed at these women at perhaps one of the lowest points in their lives seemed grotesque and presumptuous, that somehow these women were blase about their situation and deserved to be made to feel as awful as possible. And on more than one occasion it felt like the protesters would be happy if these women had committed suicide, to somehow atone for their 'sin'. But what if everyone could agree that lowering the rate of abortions is the most important thing, and if people could come together and work on that?
Would people finally come to terms with the fact that people are still having sex? That people need to be educated about contraception, and educated on how to avoid STDs? Would people have to admit that abstinence really is the only method, or non-method, really, that is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy and vaginal/anal infections? Would people realize that educating people on how to protect themselves is not an endorsement of behavior but an endorsement of health? Will people realize that you can't prevent abortions from happening if you won't help women not get pregnant in the first place?
21 years ago I volunteered on the Oregon AIDS Hotline, maybe for 2 years, and I can say that the information I was given at that time probably saved my life, and it probably saved the lives of people I talked to on the phone, people desperate for information, not knowing where to turn, not knowing if their friends, family, coworkers, etc, would turn their backs on them when they needed them the most. I don't see a huge difference between that and what is going on all over this country, with family planning clinics being shut down, 'victories' for people that are so blinded by their judgmental minds that they can't see that they are actually adding to the problems they say they want to avoid.
Since I will never be pregnant, and will never be a party to a pregnancy, I don't feel that I have a right to tell a woman what she should, or shouldn't do, with her body, or even really be a part of the debate. I know that might sound like taking the easy way out, but I don't see it that way. I see it as being rational. And I know that even though as a man I don't feel that I have the right to be a part of this debate, the truth is that I am. I have to be. Until both sides come together, get real with each other, and work on solutions, we are all part of the debate.
I have to comment on my own experience/feeling about this topic.
ReplyDeleteYes, I had an abortion. It was during my "slut phase". Condom broke and Plan B failed. I have no regrets--I did it, and I would do it again.
Here is the thing. I've never had a maternal bone in my body. I love kids, but they aren't for me. I love having fun with them and then giving them back.
A woman knows when it is not the right time, and she shouldn't be ashamed to do something about it--especially if she took all the precautions to prevent it from happening in the first place, or, heaven forbid, she was "legitimately raped".
From the social/moral side of things--I don't think we should be attacking the women who do this UNTIL WE ADEQUATELY CARE FOR THE CHILDREN WE ALREADY HAVE. How many children are born to parents who aren't ready to be a parent and are tossed away to the foster care system never to be loved and adequately cared for? There are so many unwanted children in this world that until we start taking care of them we shouldn't shame the women who are proactively preventing another from being added to the pile.
As a woman, I object to someone telling me how I should treat my body. It is my body, my choice.
Thank you for your comment! I have to say that I agree, 100%, with everything you said. I am so glad you brought up the fact that there are already so many children that aren't being taken care of, that are in need of so much. That is one of the problems I have always had with people that are antichoice, that they want to be able to control women's bodies but then want nothing to do with the consequences.
ReplyDeleteIt's become so twisted that a medical procedure is somehow the most evil thing in the world. A legal medical procedure. Legal. In most places, and even that isn't a given, with fetal personhood and ultrasounds and, well, all of it.
These people aren't 'pro-life', they are pro control over women's lives and bodies.